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One Yard Dash

In my rush to go pick up the dog after returning from the beach, I forgot that I needed to be home to drag all the tree trimmings from my recent pruning adventures to the road for trash pickup. By the time that I remembered, I was at my parent’s house, and it was too late to get back. That left me two choices. One, I could wait until the first trash day of next month, or two, I could get the tree trimmings to the township mulching site on my own. I was scared to take option one because that essentially felt like creating two new refuge spots for the wildlife that I’m constantly battling, so I decided the piles of brush needed to go.

My first option was to check out whether I could rent Home Depot’s truck since I wanted to pick up some bags of topsoil and rock for the backyard anyway. But, you can only have their truck for 75 minutes, and it was going to be tight to get home, get it unloaded, get the brush hauled away, and get the truck back. Then, I checked out UHaul, but they wanted $20 plus mileage. That rubbed me the wrong way because this whole dilemma should have been free to solve if I had just remembered to haul the trash to the road.

So, it was time for Gretel (the amazing Ford Fiesta) to spring into action. I pulled down a tarp from the garage, flipped down the seats, and tried to protect Gretel the best I could. Then, I turned to the piles of brush. Quite frankly, I was scared of what might have already found a home, so I donned my kevlar gloves — the ones that I bought to do war with the possums. I tried to shake the branches out the best that I could to clear any creatures out of them, and I started loading Gretel.

Then, it was time to find the mulching center. This was my first attempt to use this place, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. All I knew was that I hoped I could  get there fast because I was pretty nervous that a snake might come out of the brush. I was somewhat white knuckling it and leaning forward in my seat the whole way there. I know that hauling yard waste in my car is not a good idea. So, obviously, I know that ejecting myself from the car at 45 mph and rolling into incoming traffic is likewise not a good idea. But, if a snake were to appear in the car, I really can’t think of any other feasible action.

At the end of the day, I got both loads of brush to the mulching place and suffered no harassing from snakes. It only cost $2 in dumping fees, clearly a cost savings over renting a truck which in turn clearly made me feel better about being absentminded and forgetting trash day.

And, I was even adorable during the adventure. Or, at least, that’s what the cashier at the mulching station told me the guys at the station had told her.


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