Valentine’s Day ends in t-minus 85 minutes, and I’m ready. It’s not been a pleasant day overall. There was just no way for me to really, truly embrace the cliche that it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all on my first Valentine’s Day back to being single. I’m ready for tomorrow when all the hoopla dies down on Facebook, and I certainly could have gone without seeing every third person buying flowers at the grocery store tonight. Sorry, blog readers, I know that’s a bummer of a way to start a post, but lest you’re ever tempted to think as you read this blog that I’ve got life all pulled together, think again. Today, I would have gotten an F on my report card when it came to rejoicing with those who rejoice — ok a D- because at least the thought occurred to me that I was having a bad attitude and should be immensely happy for all those who were celebrating love today.
And, I know I’m loved deep, deep down. The worship this morning in chapel was amazing, and it reminded me that God is big, much much bigger than I am (no comparison at all really) and holy in what he does. He’s not doing exactly what I want him to be doing right now in my self-centered, panicky little heart, but in a few years, I’ll look back as I’ve done many times before and be grateful that he doesn’t cater to my every whim. I’ll see that he was molding me and shaping me into someone far more mature, and if I chase after him, someone more grounded, secure, and holy than I am today. And, I’m sure he did prompt the hearts of friends and family who texted throughout the day to say “I love you.” One dear friend reminded me that she is praying for me. God has used her time and again to remind me that he is there.
So, in the midst of the pity party that I’ll stop writing about now, I tried to do what I did in college when I was single on Valentine’s Day and tempted to mope about it. I tried to focus on blessing others. One of my former students is taking her girls on a retreat this weekend, and she emailed me awhile back to see if I would bake the desserts for it, so I got to baking. I put together some of my new favorite nutella lava brownies and baked a chocolate cherry cake that I’ll share the recipe for in a post in the near future. I also tried a strawberry cake mix adaptation that I saw in a comment box on Pinterest. Here’s what I put together:
- 1 box strawberry cake mix
- 8 oz. cool whip
- 1 egg
I combined that, rolled it into balls that were then rolled in powdered sugar, and baked them for about 14 minutes. They are cute and pink and taste ok but not really make again worthy. But, how fun is it to take pink cookies on a girls’ retreat? Fun. And, the girls always have the nutella lava brownies and chocolate cake to make up for the slightly lackluster cookies.
Also, I decided to do a little something for myself. So, I made some peanut butter hot cocoa. This wound up not being my cup of cocoa. It was a bit too rich for me (of course, I’m jaded since I stepped on a scale this morning), and unless consumed while scalding hot, the peanut butter in the cocoa solidifies, which created a texture of which I was not a fan.
The cookies in the picture are supposed to be a delightful, celebratory pink, but I guess watching only lesson one out of 24 in my photography DVD series has not yet prepared me to capture the nuances of color.
I will go to bed tonight with a valentine of sorts from God. Lamentations 3:22-25, ” The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.
‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul,
‘Therefore I have hope in Him.’ The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, To the person who seeks Him.”